The Puppet Show Rewritten
by ConfusedColumbia26220
Summary: So, I am rewriting every single episode of Buffy, with one slight change – Jenny Calendar killed off in Passion, season 2 episode 17 will be in every single one. Don't like it, don't read it. That simple. S1E9
1. Chapter 1

**AN: So, I am rewriting every single episode of Buffy, with one slight change – Jenny Calendar (killed off in Passion, season 2 episode 17) will be in every single one. Don't like it, don't read it. That simple. If you do like it, I would also suggest that you start out by reading the first eight rewritten episodes, before you read this. This is the 9th episode rewritten for season one. In the summaries S#E# represents what season and episode the story takes place. It would be best if you went in order - I guarantee you will be lost unless you go episode by episode. **

In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer.

Backstage in the Sunnydale High School auditorium, a student named Emily was doing ballet stretching exercises.

A demon observed her from low on the floor. It breathed heavily. "I will be whole. I will be new."

Throughout the backstage area, a number of students were practicing a variety of acts. Among them were Lisa playing her tuba and Marc rehearsing his magic act. There was also Morgan and his dummy, Sid. He rubbed his temples for a moment and looked around.

Onstage, Cordelia was singing 'The Greatest Love of All' off key, "Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all. I decided long ago..."

Giles and Ms. Calendar sat in the audience, both clearly not wanting to be there.

"...Never to walk in anyone's shadow. If I fail, if I succeed, at least..."

"Thank you, Cordelia," Giles interrupted, ending their torture.

"That's going to be lovely," Ms. Calendar lied.

"But I didn't do the part with the sparklers!" Cordelia complained.

"Um, w-we'll, um... save that for the dress rehearsal." Giles was anxious to get rid of her.

"Uh, Lisa! Please!" Ms. Calendar called.

"Ughhh!" Cordelia wasn't pleased. She put the microphone back on its stand and left the stage as Lisa set up with her tuba.

As she began, Giles rubbed at his eyes. Ms. Calendar bent so her head rested on the back of the seat in front of her.

Buffy, Willow, and Xander came down the center aisle.

Buffy drew in a breath. "If it isn't the great producers!"

The students went into the seats to sit around the adults.

"Had to see this to believe it," Xander chipped in.

"Oh. You three," Giles greeted blandly.

"You _two_," Buffy replied.

Xander made an exaggerated sniffing nose. "Love's in the air!" He paused. "Or maybe it's lack of talent..."

Ms. Calendar sent him a glare. "You missed Cordelia."

"Somehow, I think I'll survive that."

"The school talent show. How ever did you two finagle such a primo assignment?" Buffy asked.

"Our new Führer, Mr. Snyder," Giles answered.

"I think they call 'em 'principals' now," Willow stated.

"Mm. He thought it would behoove me to have more contact with the students. I did try to explain that my vocational choice of librarian was a deliberate attempt to -" Giles drew in a breath. "Minimize said contact, but, uh, he would have none of it."

"And you?" Buffy asked Ms. Calendar.

"Sent to make sure he behaves."

"Giles, and Ms. Calendar, unto every generation is born one who must run the annual talentless show. You cannot escape your destiny."

"If you had any shred of decency, you would have participated, or at least, um, helped," Giles told her.

"What he said," Ms. Calendar added. "This is torture."

"Nah! I think I'll take on your traditional role... and watch!" Buffy replied.

"And mock!" Xander added.

"And laugh!" Willow added.

The students laughed. Ms. Calendar groaned.

"O-kay. I think maybe we better leave our lovebirds to this business they call a show," Buffy stated.

The three of them got up and started back up the aisle.

Principal Snyder was waiting there for them.

"Principal Snyder!" Buffy was surprised.

"So. We think school events are stupid, and we think authority figures are to be made fun of."

"No! No, we don't. W-unless you do."

"And we think our afternoon classes are optional. All three of you left campus yesterday."

"Yeah, but we were fighting a demon..."

"Fighting?" The 'demon' part flew right over his head.

"Not fighting."

"No, we, uh, left to _avoid_ fighting," Xander chipped in.

"Real anti-social types." The man couldn't be pleased. "You need to integrate into this school, people." He crossed his arms. "I think I just found three eager new participants for the talent show."

"What?" Buffy cried.

"No!" Xander protested.

"Please?" Willow whimpered.

"I've been watching you three. Always getting into one scrape or another."

"Well, we're really, really sorry, but about the talent show, pleeease, you can't make us..." There was no way Buffy would be in the talent show. There was just no way.

Principal Snyder interrupted, "My predecessor, Mr. Flutie, may have gone in for all that touchy-feely relating nonsense, but he was eaten. You're in _my _world now. And Sunnydale has touched and felt for the last time." He started to push past them, heading for the stage.

"Can I just mention, that detention is a time-honored form of punishment?" Xander hinted.

Buffy nodded vigorously in agreement.

"I know the three of you will come up with a wonderful act for the school to watch. And mock. And laugh. At," Snyder replied. He continued down to the stage.

Xander couldn't believe it. He pointed up with both index fingers and sat down in a seat. "No!"

Buffy spaced out and moaned. She went back into Giles and Ms. Calendar's row, sat next them, and looked to them for sympathy. The adults have none to give, and instead tried to hold back smirks.

The tuba solo ended. Willow remained standing with a big frown on her face.

"Thank you!" Giles was grateful that the tuba wasn't as bad as Cordelia.

The next act set up. It was Morgan with his dummy, Sid.

"Ewww, dummy!" Buffy groaned.

Xander saw a mime and jumped in his seat. "Dyow! Mime!"

Willow sat behind Buffy. "I think dummies are cute. You don't?"

"Uuuhhh. They give me the wig. Ever since I was little."

"What happened?"

"I saw a dummy. It gave me the wig. There really wasn't a story there."

"Hi. I'm Morgan," Morgan announced onstage. He moved the dummy's head. "And I'm Sid!"

He was an awful ventriloquist, and Ms. Calendar winced. Buffy raised her eyebrows and stared in disbelief.

Morgan continued as Sid, "Hey Morgan, would you like to tell some jokes?" Then as himself, "Would I!" Sid, "As a matter of fact, it is! It's also a wood nose, and a wood mouth!"

Willow couldn't believe the act either. Morgan laughed nervously for Sid. Buffy looked at Giles. He took off his glasses.

"I didn't sleep at all last night," 'Sid' said.

"Alright, time out. Let's stop this before someone gets hurt." The act seemed to get better as Sid spoke to Morgan. "Kid, you are the worst. Even I can see your lips move."

Buffy started giggling. Giles looked up again and put his glasses back on, intrigued that there may be at least one good act.

"C'mon, Sid. You're spoiling my act. I worked on these jokes for weeks," Morgan replied.

"You call those jokes? My jockey shorts are made out of better material."

A few students had gathered at the edge of the stage to watch Morgan's act were laughing.

"And they're edible!"

More laughs from the students.

All the Scoobies seemed to be into it, then, too.

"There, you see?" Giles addressed the younger Scoobies. "I'm sure you three can come up with something...equally exciting."

Sid smiled.

In the girls' locker room, Emily was changing back into her regular clothes. She put her ballet outfit and shoes into her locker and closed the door. She heard a noise. "Is anybody there?" She walked to the end of the row of lockers and peeked around the corner. "Hello?" She walked around to the next row of lockers. No one was there. The demon exhaled as it watched her from low on the floor. "Hello?" Emily continued down the row toward the showers. The demon came up behind her. Emily turned and screamed.

"I will be flesh!"

After hours, Giles was just about to leave. He was walking down the school hallway when he bumped into Ms. Calendar. "Jenny," he greeted.

"Rupert."

A pause.

"So, no demon as of late, huh?" Ms. Calendar smiled.

"No, no demon. Just the talent show."

"Ugh!" Ms. Calendar groaned. "Don't remind me!"

"B-Because of the demon shortage…I was, uh…wondering…"

Ms. Calendar looked at him expectantly.

"I was wondering i-if…"

"If I'm available for extra curricular activities void of the topics of school and the supernatural?"

Giles sighed in relief. "Precisely."

"I'm game."

The 'extra curricular activity' consisted of a walk through the local park.

I'm not going to get another chance, Ms. Calendar thought. I'm not going to get another chance to get this out in the open.

A fraction of a second after Ms. Calendar thought that, their hands brushed.

The two shared a look that seemed to make time stand still.

Suddenly, Giles' eyes widened. "Jenny, look –"

Ms. Calendar pivoted around in time for a vampire to shove her to the ground, slashing her shoulder in the process.

Giles thrust a cross into the demon's face.

The vampire cowered and scampered off.

Giles knelt next to Jenny and briefly examined her wound. "Jenny…" He helped her up. "I'm so sorry."

There wasn't much time for reaction, because Ms. Calendar suddenly jumped onto him, their lips locking in a fierce kiss. 


	2. Chapter 2

Time dragged on as the talent show performance came closer. Buffy, Xander, and Willow had begrudgingly come up with an act for the show, and things between Giles and Ms. Calendar became decidedly more awkward than it was before.

It was tryouts again.

A student named Marc was doing a magician act. "I reach into the hat, and out... comes..." He lifted the hat and looked around frantically. "Has anybody seen a rabbit?" He began to search along the floor.

Elliot walked past Marc as he practiced his juggling routine. Lisa was walking to the locker room. Meanwhile, Xander, Willow, and Buffy were practicing their dramatic scene.

Xander posed with his right arm in the air to begin his line. "I can't do this!"

"Xander, come on," Buffy pleaded.

"I, I can't! I have my pride! Okay, I don't have a lot of my pride, but I have enough so that I can't do this!" He went over to the steps at the side of the stage to sit.

Willow followed him. "A dramatic scene is the easiest way to get through the talent show, because it doesn't require an actual talent." She sat above him.

"But we have talent. We can do stuff. Buffy, uh..."

Buffy joined her friends. "What am I gonna do? Slay vampires on stage?"

"Maybe in a funny way!" Willow suggested.

"Willow, you can do stuff. Uh, the piano..."

"You play?" Buffy asked.

"A little."

"Well, that's cool. You can accompany us and we can _attempt_ to sing."

Willow realized something. "Oh, i-in front of other people? Then, no, I don't play..."

"Whatever happened to corporal punishment?" Xander wondered aloud.

Sid whistled at the girls. The three looked at him and Morgan.

"Mm, mm, mm. Look at the goodies!"

Morgan looked embarrassed.

Willow got up and went over to him. "Morgan, you're really getting good! Where did you come up with that voice?"

"It's kind of an imitation of my dad."

"Sounds real!" Buffy commented.

"It is real," Sid replied. "I'm the one with the talent here. The kid's dead weight." He directed his words to Willow, "How about you and I do a little rehearsin' on our own, honey?"

Xander jumped to the defense, "Uh, hey!"

"You know what they say: once you go wood, nothin's as good!"

"Okay, Morgan," Buffy was becoming less amused. "We get the joke. Horny dummy, ha, ha, it's very funny, but you might wanna consider getting some new schtick. Unless you want your prop ending up as a Duraflame log."

Morgan and Sid exchanged a look.

Principal Snyder, Giles, and Ms. Calendar came in through the doors at the back of the auditorium. They walked down the aisle as Snyder gave his spiel about the positions of kids in general.

"Kids today need discipline. That's an unpopular word these days, 'discipline'. I know Principal Flutie would have said, 'Kids need understanding. Kids are human beings.' That's the kind of woolly-headed, liberal thinking that leads to being eaten."

"I, I think perhaps it was a little more complex than, um..." Giles was surprised by Snyder's ignorance, and to add onto it, he was very nervous about the close proximity of himself and Ms. Calendar.

Snyder was oblivious to the comment. "This place has quite a reputation. Suicide, missing persons, spontaneous cheerleader combustion... You can't put up with that. You've gotta keep an eye on the bad element."

They reached the stage and stopped.

Snyder nodded up towards the stage. "Like those three."

He had indicated to Buffy, Willow, and Xander, who were practicing their dramatic scene.

"Uh, I am willing to venture out and say that at least one of them has nearly perfect grades," Ms. Calendar stated, talking about Willow.

Again, Snyder was oblivious. "Kids. I don't like them. From now on you're gonna see a very different Sunnydale High. Tight ship, clean, orderly." He turned back to face them. "And quiet."

In the girls' locker room, a girl screamed loudly when she discovered Emily's body.

Later, as the paramedics prepared the body for transport, Ms. Calendar came out of the locker room and into the hall. She ducked under the yellow police tape and went over to the team.

She cleared her throat, "It was Emily."

"Emily. Dancer Emily?" Willow asked.

"Oh, man! I hate this school." Xander wondered why all the bad things typically happened to very good looking students of the female variety.

"Uh, it must have happened just after, uh, dress rehearsals," Giles stated.

"There was a cross-country meet at Melville. She never showed up for it," Ms. Calendar added.

"Vampire?" Buffy asked.

"I don't think so."

"Ms. Calendar, share! What happened?"

Ms. Calendar sighed. "Her...um...her heart was removed."

"Yikes!" Willow was glad she hadn't seen it.

Buffy turned to Giles. "Does that mean anything to you? Besides -" She shuddered. "Ooooooo?"

"Uh..." It was admittedly hard for Giles to think. He exhaled slowly. "There are various demons which, which feed off human hearts, but..."

They looked back and saw the knife being put into an evidence bag.

"But demons have claws. And teeth," Buffy stated.

"They got no use for a big old knife," Xander added.

"Which more than likely makes our murderer..." Giles trailed off.

"Human," Buffy finished.

"Did I mention that I _hate_ this school?" Xander asked rhetorically.

"So Emily was killed by a regular human person," Willow wasn't sure if she liked the sound of that.

"The evidence certainly points that way," Giles replied.

"No, wait. I-I'm not buying, you guys. Remember the Hellmouth?" Buffy asked. "Mystical activity is totally rife here. This to me says demon."

"I'd like to think you're right," Giles stated. "A demon is a creature of evil, pure and very simple. A person driven to kill is, is, um, it's more..." He couldn't think of the right word.

"Complex?" Ms. Calendar offered.

"The creep factor is also heightened," Willow stated. "It could be anyone. It could be me!"

Everyone gave her a look.

"It's not, though," she added.

"Demon or no, we have some investigating to do," Ms. Calendar stated.

"Y-Yes...I suppose we do," Giles agreed. And we have some talking to do, he thought. "I suggest we start with your... your talent show compatriots. One of them may have been the last to see her alive." He skillfully spoke only business, and did his best to avoid Ms. Calendar's gaze.

In the band room, Buffy interviewed Lisa.

"I didn't know her too well," Lisa told her. "There's that whole dancer/band rivalry, y'know?"

"I've heard about that," Buffy replied.

"But I did speak to her a little the day that... yesterday."

"How did she seem?"

Outside, Giles was interviewing Marc as he shuffled a deck of cards.

"She was happy. I guess. She was psyched to be doing the show. She was a really good dancer. Here, pick a card."

Giles wasn't prepared for that. "Uh, um..." He reached for a card.

"No, wai-wai-wai-wait. Not that one. Pick this one."

Giles took the card. "Do you remember the last time you saw her?"

"She was talkin' to someone."

"Who?"

Willow and Elliot entered a classroom.

"That smart guy. The one with the dummy. What's his name?"

"Morgan?" Willow suggested.

"Yeah, that's it. He was actin' kinda strange."

"Strange how?"

Outside during cheerleader practice, Xander was talking to Cordelia.

"It's just such a tragedy for me. Emma was, like, my best friend."

"Emily," Xander corrected.

In a different classroom, Ms. Calendar got the unexpected job of consoling the recently deceased's best friend.

"We did almost everything together! A-And now she's gone and I don't know wh-what to do...n-nothing's g-going to be the s-same!"

Ms. Calendar sighed and pulled the blubbering mess into a gentle hug. "Maybe the best thing for you is to take a day or two off from school..."

In the band room, Buffy and Lisa continued their conversation.

"Well, Morgan's just strange. He's always rubbing his head a lot and moaning. Especially the other day," Lisa stated.

Outside, Marc was talking to Giles.

"He seemed kinda paranoid... Lookin' around at everyone..."

In the classroom Willow and Elliot were in, Elliot continued talking.

"And I think I saw him arguing... with his dummy."

At cheer practice, Cordelia was still in her self-absorbed bubble.

"All I can think is, it coulda been me!"

"We can dream," Xander replied half-heartedly.

In the other classroom, the best friend was still blubbering.

"I miss her so much!"

Later, Buffy entered the auditorium from the front side door. She looked around and walked over to the stage. She saw Sid on a stool, facing the curtain.

Sid spoke to Morgan, who was offstage, "Right now you and me gotta be on the lookout. Figure out who's gonna be next."

Morgan came onto the stage. "How are we supposed to...?" He saw Buffy. "Oh, hi."

"Hello," Buffy replied.

"I was just working on throwing my voice." He walked upstage.

"Uh, Morgan, did you notice anything weird going on around here yesterday?"

He gathered Sid up. "Weird? What d'you mean?" He went down the steps from the stage.

"With Emily. Did she say anything to you, was she arguing with anyone?"

Morgan went over to Sid's case. "No. She was dancing." He opened the case. "Sid and I were talking."

"Talking," Buffy repeated.

"Rehearsing," Morgan corrected himself.

"So, you didn't notice anything weird at..."

Morgan held his hand to his forhead in pain and sat down. "Ohhh!"

"Morgan, are you okay?"

"Look, sweetheart! He answered your question. Now leave him alone!" Sid demanded.

Morgan's pain subsided, and he looked up at Buffy,

"Okay, Morgan, how 'bout talking to me yourself now?"

"He said all he's gonna say," Sid insisted.

Morgan looked nervously between Buffy and Sid. He got up. "It's okay, Sid. We're done." He put Sid in his case.

"I'm sorry. Look, I didn't mean to make you mad."

"No! I'm..." He got quiet. "It's him!" He indicated Sid. "He's..." He closed the case. "We have to go." He grabbed the case and left.

Buffy was taken aback. "Cute couple."

Willow, Buffy, Xander, and Ms. Calendar entered the library.

"Okay, next time we split up someone else is on Cordy detail. Five more minutes with her and we woulda had another organ donor," Xander stated.

"I think I had a bit more luck," Willow stated. "Everyone I talked to seemed to point their fingers at the same person."

They all went into Giles' office.

"Morgan?" Buffy asked.

"Morgan," Willow confirmed.

"All I got was a blubbering mess," Ms. Calendar stated. "Makes me glad I didn't sign up for guidance counseling."

"We have a winner!" Xander stated.

"I fear I was led to the same conclusion," Giles added.

"Well, what do we do?" Xander asked. "We don't slay him, right? We wanna bring him to justice."

"We could set up a complex sting operation where we get him to confess!" Willow suggested enthusiastically.

"Uh, I should wear a wire!" Xander suggested.

"Whoa, hey, you guys, all we know is that Morgan is a grade A large weirdo. That doesn't lead directly to murderer," Buffy stated.

"Guy talks to his puppet!" Xander pointed out.

"And for his puppet," Willow added.

"Come to think of it, the whole thing was a bit _too_ impressive," Ms. Calendar stated.

"Well, yeah, but what about the whole 'it's a demon' theory?" Buffy asked.

"I'm looking into that," Giles offered. "But, uh, my investigation is somewhat...hampered by our life in the theater."

"Uh, priority check, Giles?" Buffy weighed the two with her hands. "Talent show, murder."

Xander was grateful for an excuse, "Yeah, we can't do the talent show, it's unthinkable. I'm not able to think it!"

"Principal Snyder is watching us all very closely. Now, if he chooses, he can make all our lives extremely difficult. A Slayer cannot afford that! We will find this murderer, but in the meantime..."

Ms. Calendar took in a breath. She finished his sentence with a reluctant tone, "The show must go on."

"This is so unfair," Buffy complained.

"Buffy, you, uh, watch Morgan. Check his locker, see if there's anything there," Giles directed.

"Like a heart?" Willow suggested.

"Or something."

"Alright," Buffy replied.

"I'll pull up his locker number." Willow went over to a computer.

"Can I still wear a wire?" Xander asked.

Giles finally mustered the nerve to talk to Ms. Calendar alone after school. He approached her classroom and knocked on the door.

As always, it was opened.

"Jenny, we need to talk."

"Okay..." She stepped back, allowing him room to step inside.

"Um..." Of course, Giles didn't know what to say after that. He then noticed the edge of a white bandage poking up from the collar of her shirt. "How's your shoulder?"

"It's getting better," she answered. "But that's not really what you came to talk about, is it?"

Giles let his gaze fall to the floor. "No," he admitted. "No, i-i-it's not..."

Moments of silence.

"I don't regret it."

Giles lifted his gaze. "Regret what?"

"The kiss. I don't regret it, but...if it makes you this uncomfortable, it won't happen again." She could be patient, now that she had a taste of what she was waiting for. It would definitely be worth the wait.

In a hall, Buffy quietly came through the doors from the stairwell, looking around to see if anyone was there. She passed a door. It opened, but Buffy didn't see it, only heard the sound. She twisted around to look behind her toward the sound, but didn't realize it was the door that was then ajar. She went back to looking for Morgan's locker. Moments later, she found it. She started to work the combination. "Okay... Two to the left, three to the right..." She looked in both directions again, and then slammed her palm into the lock. There was a clean hole when she took her hand away. She reached in with her fingers and undid the latch. She looked around in the locker, and was about to take Sid's case out when Principal Snyder grabbed her hand from behind, startling her. "Principal Snyder!"

"What are you doing?"

"Uh, looking for something."

"School hours are over. You, therefore, should be gone."

"And I'm going any minute now." She laughed nervously.

"There are things I will not tolerate: students loitering on campus after school, horrible murders with hearts being removed. And also smoking."

"Well, I don't do any of those things. Not... ever."

Snyder was suspicious. "There's something going on with you. I'll figure it out sooner or later."

Buffy smiled.

"Do you need something here?"

"Oh!" She looked into the locker. "Yeah! Right! Um, a friend wanted me to get something... out of his case!" She pulled the case partially out of the locker, opened it and was surprised to find it empty. She quickly closed it and looked at Snyder. "He must've taken it and just forgotten to tell me."

"Mmhmm." Snyder didn't quite believe that.

Morgan and Sid saw what was going on from behind the door.

"Get along home now. It's late," Snyder stated. He turned and headed down the hall.

Buffy watched him go.

On the stage, Sid sat in a chair while Morgan paced.

"No, I can't do it!" Morgan stated.

"It's the only way."

"I don't want..."

"She's the one."

"But..."

"You saw what she did, how strong she is."

"I know, but..."

"She's the last! Just this one more, and I'll be free."

"I won't."

"I will!"

Buffy was in her room at home. Her mom knocked on the door and came in.

"Hi, hon. How's it, uh, going with the talent show?"

"It'll be over soon."

Joyce let out a laugh. "It can't be that bad! I, for one, am looking forward to seeing your act."

"Seeing? I-in the sense of actually attending?"

"Of course!"

"Uh-uh! No, Mom, y-y-you can't! And, I mean, if I know you're out there watching, I'll freeze up, stage fright."

"But I wanna support what you're doing!"

"Look, Mom, if you really love me, and wanna show your support, you'll stay away. Far away."

"Honey, is there, uh... Is there something bothering you? I-I mean, besides your fabulous debut."

"Nothing. There's just a lot going on right now."

"Well. Get some sleep. You'll feel better in the morning."

"Good plan."

Joyce left the room and closed the door behind her.

Buffy got into bed. She reached over to turn off her lamp in the front window. Buffy doesn't notice Sid looking in.


	3. Chapter 3

Ms. Calendar was in bed, asleep. Her dreams were pleasant, for once, but obviously too good to be true.

In her dream, she and Giles were taking a walk through the local park during their lunch hour. Their arms were linked and she had her head resting on his shoulder.

"Beautiful day," Giles observed.

"Yeah." She smiled. A couple seconds passed and she spotted a bench. Still linked with him, she headed over to it. "I think I'll sit down and enjoy it."

Her arm slipped from his and she sat on the bench. The sunlight caught her hair just right, giving a visual of perfect beauty.

As Giles knelt on one knee, her eyes widened and lit up in anticipation. He reached into his pants pocket, and slowly produced a small box. "Ms. Jennifer Calendar," Popping the box open, he revealed a simple but beautiful diamond ring. "Will you marry me?"

Ms. Calendar awoke with a start and felt the immediate sting of tears rush to her eyes. That man would be the death of her, she knew.

Buffy awoke to the sound of quick, light footsteps and bolted upright. She heard more. She saw something go under her bed and leaned over the edge to look underneath. There was nothing there. She pulled herself back up and saw Sid. She screamed and knocked him off of the bed. Sid ran away. Buffy quickly got out of bed as her mother rushed into the room and turned on the light.

"Honey, what is it?"

Buffy moved over to her mom, frightened. "In the bed, in the covers there's something!"

"Where?"

They went to the bed to investigate.

"There's something there," Buffy insisted.

Joyce grabbed the covers and went through them. "Well, well, there, there's nothing there now. Are, are you sure you didn't have a nightmare?"

"No! There's some... There is..." She sighed and put her hands on her head. "Yeah... You're probably right." She groaned softly, dropping her hands. "I'm sorry I got you up."

"Don't worry about it. I was dreaming about bills." She kissed Buffy's forehead. "Sweetheart, you shouldn't go to sleep with the window open." She touched her cheek, then left the room.

Buffy looked at her window, which was open. "I didn't," she stated, a bit confused.

At school, Marc was onstage in the auditorium rehearsing a magic act. "And my lovely assistant steps into the box..."

The female student stepped into the box.

Marc closed the door and turned the box in a full circle. "And... behold!" He opened the box, but the student was still there. "You were supposed to leave!"

Xander and Willow were in the seats, watching and laughing.

Marc closed the door to the box and butted his head against it.

Ms. Calendar seemed to bolt out of the backstage area. Moments later, Giles emerged, with Cordelia hot on his heels.

Ms. Calendar maintained a calm appearance as she raced to the seats, next to Xander and Willow.

"Ms. Calendar escapeth the Cordeliaeth?" Xander joked.

"Lisps may work for gay guys, but they don't work for you, Xander," Ms. Calendar retorted.

Willow laughed.

Giles, however, wasn't so fortunate as to escape Cordelia.

"I don't understand why I... why I have to follow Brett and his stupid band."

"Because we have to clear their equipment before the finale. I told you."

"But the mood! It'll be all wrong!" She jumped in front of him, so he couldn't get away. "My song is about dignity and human feelings and personal...hygiene or something. Anyway, it's sappy, and no one is gonna be feeling sappy after all that Rock and Roll."

Giles didn't want to hear any more of it. He seemed to stare off into space.

After a few moments, Cordelia got self conscious. "Uhhh, what?" She lightly touched her hair, to fix any apparant strays.

Giles seemed to snap out of it. "Oh! I'm sorry. Um, your hair, uh..."

"There's something wrong with my hair?" She pushed it behind her ears.

Giles was silent, but continued to stare.

"Ohmigod!" Cordelia quickly left.

Giles smirked to himself. "Xander was right. It worked like a charm."

He saw Buffy come down the aisle and approached her. "Hello. You look a bit worse for, uh..."

Buffy headed into the seats to Willow, Xander and Ms. Calendar.

Giles followed. "What exactly are you the worse for?"

"Wear, Rupert. That's 'worse for wear'," Ms. Calendar stated, without half as much as her usual sarcasm.

"Where's Morgan?" Buffy took a seat.

"Uh, I, I... haven't seen him," Giles stated. He sent a questioning look to Ms. Calendar.

Ms. Calendar shrugged. "Me neither."

"Did he do something to you?" Xander asked Buffy.

"No, it was his... Sid, the dummy."

Then Ms. Calendar and Giles were at full attention.

"Okay, everyone look at me like I'm in a bunny suit, 'cause that's how stupid I feel saying this... I think Sid was in my room last night."

"With Morgan?" Willow asked.

"No. He was alone. And alive."

"Did you see him?" Xander asked.

"Well, I saw something. I-it ran across my floor, under my bed and then it attacked me."

"Attacked you?" Giles asked, his mind flashing back to the vampire attacking Jenny. "How?"

"It was like it pounced on my face."

"Like a cat," Xander stated.

"Yeah, exactly! But when I turned the lights on it was already gone. I-I think it went out my window."

"Like a cat," Xander repeated.

"Yeah! No! It was Sid, the dummy."

"Or possibly the nightmare of somebody who had... dummies on her mind," Giles replied logically.

"You did say they creep you out," Willow added.

"Excuse me? Can I have a _little_ support here, please? I'm not just some crazy person, I'm the Slayer...Ms. Calendar? You believe me, right?"

"As enthusiastic as I am to see a real live Chuckie..."

"The dummy Slayer?" Xander asked Buffy.

Buffy gave him a look.

"There's nothing funny about that."

"Well, on the side of the 'Morgan's just crazy' theory there is -" Willow saw Morgan go by, carrying Sid. "Well, Morgan."

Morgan opened Sid's case.

"I'd like to see Morgan without his better half for a few minutes," Buffy stated. "Bet he could tell me something."

Morgan sat down with Sid on his lap.

"Oh, uh, i-if it's any consolation, I... I may have found a possible demon culprit." Giles held up a book. "The-there's a reference in here to a brotherhood of seven demons who take, uh, the form of young humans. Every seven years these demons need human organs, a-a-a brain and a heart, to maintain their humanity. Otherwise they, they, they revert back to their original form, which is, uh, uh, slightly less appealing." He handed the open book to Xander, with a sketch of one of the demons showing.

"So Morgan could still be the guy, only demon Morgan instead of crazy Morgan," Willow stated.

Morgan fussed with Sid's shoes.

"It's said that these demons are, are, are preternaturally strong, and, and, and... Morgan is, is... Well, he seems to be getting weaker every day," Giles countered.

Buffy observed as Morgan put his hand on his head.

When Ms. Calendar arrived to class a couple minutes late, the class felt the need to tease her. And then one boy hollered,

"Lookin' hot, Ms. C!"

The surrounding classmates 'ooh'ed, wondering how Ms. Calendar would reply.

"Glad you're aware of your sexuality, but we don't need public announcemnets. Please, quiet down and let me teach." That earned laughs from the students.

Ms. Calendar shook her head and pulled out her teacher's textbook. "Now, if you will all follow along on page 216..." She opened her book and began reading the passage, "'Though there are many types of keyboard layouts, studies have shown that the most affective is the 'QWERTY', because...'"

In History, Mrs. Jackson lectured as she walked around the room. "It was as a result of this that President Monroe put forth the eponymous, meaning named after one's self, Monroe Doctrine, which in one sense established the U.S. as a local peacekeeper." She walked behind Buffy, who was intently watching Sid.

Sid turned his head back to look at her and lowered his brows.

Buffy, creeped out, looked down at her desk. After a moment, she looked back up at him.

Sid stared back.

Cordelia, who was seated next to Buffy, noticed and leaned over to comment, "Looks like someone digs you. That's adorable. You and the dummy could tour in the freak show!" She smiled smugly as she leaned back into her chair.

Buffy didn't reply, just looked back at Sid, and then at her desk again.

"Okay, who can tell me how Spain responded to this policy?" Mrs. Jackson addressed the class.

Sid whispered into Morgan's ear.

Mrs. Jackson noticed. "Morgan?...Morgan?"

Morgan looked at Sid, then at her. "What?"

"Morgan has other things on his mind," Sid said.

The students laughed.

Mrs. Jackson approached Morgan. "Give me your puppet."

"I'll put him away."

Mrs. Jackson took Sid. "You'll get it back after school." She opened a cupboard, put Sid in, and closed it. "Okay, then. In the first part of the nineteenth century..."

Sid spoke from inside the cupboard, "I'm still watchin' you."

Buffy looked at the cupboard.

"Morgan, that is enough!" Mrs. Jackson scolded.

Xander and Buffy looked at Morgan. He looked back at Buffy, then at Mrs. Jackson.

Lunch hour hit. Most students had already vacated Ms. Calendar's classrrom, and those who remained were packing up. That was why Ms. Calendar nearly jumped out of her skin when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She had been packing up herself. She thought for a fleeting moment that it might be Giles, but he had always knocked. She turned to find herself face to face with the student who had made the wisecrack at the beginning of the class. "Christ, Matthew! Ever heard of communication, you know, using words? You scared me half to death!"

"Not my intention, I assure you, Ms. Calendar. I was actually wondering if you were doing anything over lunch."

"I have plans, yes." Ms. Calendar eyed him warily.

"Then I'll make this quick."

The next moment, Matthew was forcefully kissing her. Ms. Calendar slapped him away.

"What the hell is wrong with you? You're a student, I'm your teacher for Christ's sake!" She felt sick. "Aside from that, I'm taken." A little lie wouldn't hurt in her situation.

"Oh, not yet." Matthew's voice took a dark and sinister turn. "But you will be." His face shifted into something horrible, his green eyes going yellow. The face of a vampire. The very one that had attacked her that night she was with Giles in the park.

It drew a scream from Ms. Calendar, loud enough to wake the dead.

Then the thing was gone, poofed into a cloud of ashes. When the haze faded, Ms. Calendar could see that Buffy took Matthew's face.

"Thought you could use a little help," Buffy stated.

Ms. Calendar let out a breath, calming down. "Yeah...how the hell was that thing walking around in daylight?"

Buffy shrugged. "Who knows?...Well, Giles probably does..."

"Thanks for not letting me be his lunch."

Buffy shrugged again. "What kind of Slayer would I be if I did?"

After school, Morgan returned to Mrs. Jackson's classroom to retrieve Sid.

"Mrs. Jackson."

"Morgan."

"You said you'd give me..."

"Oh, of course." She got up and went over to the cupboard.

Morgan followed her expectantly.

Before she got Sid, she stopped and faced Morgan. "Y'know, I wanted to ask you, is everything okay? At home, here at school?"

"Yeah, it's great."

"I feel like you've become... a little detached."

"Mm!" Morgan rubbed his head in paid.

"You're one of the brightest kids I've seen in a long time, but lately it seems like you're not all there."

Morgan brought his other hand to his head, still rubbing.

"Try not to let other things get in the way."

Morgan moved his hands back to his sides. "Okay! Can I get Sid now?"

"Sure." She went over to the cupboard and opened it, but Sid was gone. She turned back to Morgan. "It's gone!"

"Gone? Whadaya mean, gone? Where could he have gone?"

"I put it right here."

"He knew to wait for me. He knew I'd be back."

"What do you mean 'he'?"

"What did you do with him? Where is he?"

Xander was playing with Sid in the library. Buffy entered along with Giles, Willow, and Ms. Calendar. Willow and Giles had their arms full of costumes.

"A vampire, you say?" Giles asked.

"Dusted like one, that's for sure," Buffy replied.

"It's so...creepy...he was in my class for months, and I never noticed...Rupert, it was the same one that attacked me before."

Xander stood up, Sid in hands. "Vampire attack on campus?"

"During the day?" Willow added.

Buffy noticed Sid. "Uh...Xander, where did you get that?"

"Oh, I, uh, took it out of Mrs. Jackson's cupboard. I thought you said you wanted to be able to speak to Morgan alone, and uh... well, Morgan's alone, and, uh... Sid's with me. But I'm still trying to get this straight - vampire attack, on campus, during the day?"

"Well...we've certainly seen stranger things around here," Giles replied.

"At school," Ms. Calendar added.

"Like the teacher who turned out to be a big bug," Willow added.

"I still hate her," Ms. Calendar stated.

"Promise you won't bring that up, Will? Like, ever again?" Xander requested.

Buffy stared at Sid uncomfortably while Giles and Willow unloaded the costumes onto the counter.

Xander decided to manipulate Sid, lightening the mood, "Hi, Buffy! Hi, Willow! Would you like to hear some off-color jokes?"

"I really don't think you should be doing that," Buffy stated.

"What? C'mon... " Xander spoke as Sid, "I'm not real!"

Buffy was wigged. "Xander, quit it!" She turned and walked a few steps away. She stopped and looked back when she heard Xander pounding Sid's head into the table.

"He's... not... real!" He picked Sid back up. "I think our demonstration proves that, uh, Sid-" He knocked on Sid's head several times. "Is wood. Now, why don't you go and find Morgan and prove he's...whatever he is?"

"I imagine he's looking for his puppet," Giles stated.

If Ms. Calendar weren't still trying to get over the student being a vampire thing, she would have given her kudos to Giles for using sarcasm.

"I'll go find Morgan," Buffy stated. She started to leave, but stopped to give Xander a look. "You watch the dummy."

Xander as Sid, "Bye-bye, now. I'm completely inanimate."

Buffy gave Xander another look and went out the door.

Xander as Sid, "Redrum! Redruuum!"

"What do we do with him?" Willow asked.

"Eh, I'll keep him company," Xander answered.

"Don't do the ventriloquist thing though, Xander, it _is_ creepy." Ms. Calendar told him.

"Willow, we have some hunting of our own to do," Giles told her.

"Once again I'm banished to the demon section of the card catalog."

Xander looked at Sid and went over to the study table with him.

Giles and Willow headed into the stacks.

Ms. Calendar followed a few steps. "Um, Rupert?" she asked hesitantly.

Giles turned back. "Yes?"

"What can I do?"

"Uh...you can, y-you can just sit and relax, for the time being. Co-running the talent show plus getting attacked by a vampire plus researching all in one day is a bit much, isn't it?"

Ms. Calendar sighed. "Alright." She went over to where Xander and Sid were, plopping down at the table. She folded her arms onto the table, and buried her head in them, succumbing to her exhaustion.

Giles turned back to Willow. "You concentrate on re-animation theory. I'll peck about in organ harvesting. Unless, of course, you prefer..."

They continued into the stacks.

"That's okay, you can have the organs."

Xander put Sid in the chair at the end of the table. "So, I guess it's just... you and me, huh?" He glanced at Ms. Calendar. "Sleeping teachers don't count," he murmured. He turned Sid's head away and patted him. "That looks more comfortable."

Buffy entered the auditorium. "Morgan?" She walked along the front and then up the stairs to the stage. "Morgan?" Buffy drew a curtain aside backstage, but no one was there. She took the steps down into the makeup area and tried a door. It was locked. She heard another door close and turned toward the sound. A gust of wind blew through another curtain. She slowly walked toward it. She quickly turned her head when she sensed something behind her, and saw Principal Snyder at the top of the steps to the stage. "Principal Snyder!"

"Looking for something?"

"Have you seen Morgan Shay?"

Snyder came down the steps. "You know, with everything that's been going on recently, I'm not sure how safe it is for a girl like yourself to be here... alone."

"Well, I was just leaving. And I know how to take care of myself."

They stared at each other for a moment.

"Alright, then." He went back up the steps and left.

In the library, Xander looked at Sid in his chair, then turned back to his homework.

Willow went to Giles in the stacks. "Look what I found in the section on toys and magic:" She read, "'On rare occasions inanimate objects of human quality, such as dolls and mannequins, already mystically possessed of consciousness, have acted upon their desire to become human by harvesting organs.'"

"Emily's heart," Giles connected.

"Morgan's dummy."

"Mm."

Xander got up to get a reference book. When he got back to the table, Sid was gone, but Xander didn't notice. He slammed the book on the table, waking Ms. Calendar in the process.

She jumped. "Ah!"

Xander gave her a meek expression. "Sorry." He sat down again and began to read. After a moment, he glanced at Sid's chair and jumped up, frightened when he saw it empty. "Whoa!"

Ms. Calendar was still waking up. She glanced over and jumped up as well. "Ah!"

Xander climbed onto the table. Ms. Calendar jumped onto the chair she had been sitting on.

Giles and Willow came running out of the stacks.

"What is it?" Giles asked.

"He's gone!" Xander indicated to the chair. "Sid's gone!"

"What?" he glanced down, then let out a surprised, "Oh!"

"Uhhh!"

Both Giles and Willow frightened, they look around for themselves.

Buffy continued looking around backstage. She heard some creaking. "Morgan?" She backtracked a bit and went toward the noise. She pushed some clothes on a rack aside, but saw nothing. She continued and eventually stumbled on something. She looked down to see Morgan's body lying there. "Morgan!" She whispered. She rested her hand on an object nearby, and quickly jerked it back. She had just touched a brain. "Demon's got himself a brain." She kept backing up and backed through a bead curtain, hearing a snapping noise above. She looked up and saw a wrought iron chadelier crashing down just before it fell on her.


	4. Chapter 4

Buffy was backstage, unconscious from the chadelier crashing atop her. After being out of it for a good few minutes, she awoke, moaning. Her vision had blurred. She heard quick little footsteps and immediately became alert. She saw Sid run across the catwalk above her. She attempted lifting the chadelier off of herself, but it was too heavy. Sid was at her level, and Buffy saw him in the shadows. "Who's ever out there, I'm gonna hurt you! Badly! If you'll just gimme a minute..." She tried lifting again, but to no avail. Looking back to where she saw Sid, she then saw his knife poised above her. She turned her head just in time to avoid being stabbed in the face. Sid lifted the knife and tried again, but missed. Once more, Buffy tried lifting the chandelier. This time, she succeeded in shifting it enough to get out from underneath it. Sid attacked her from behind as she slid out, but she knocked him away and into a wall. His knife slid across the floor. Buffy got up and jumped over on top of Sid, pinning him against the wall with her arm.

Sid gave up, "You win. Now you can take your heart and your brain and move on."

"I'm sure they would have made great trophies for your case," Buffy retorted.

"That woulda been justice."

"Yeah, except for one thing: you lost, and now you'll never be human."

"Yeah, well, neither will you."

They were both confused. "What?" They asked in unison.

Later in the library, Giles, Ms. Calendar, and Xander stared at Sid in wide-eyed and open-mouthed amazement. Willow and Buffy just stared at him, listening.

"This is what I do. I hunt demons. Yeah, you wouldn't know it to look at me. Let's just say there was me, there was a really mean demon, there was a curse, and the next thing I know I'm not me anymore. I'm sitting on some guy's knee, with his hand up my shirt."

"And ever since then you've been a living dummy?" Willow asked.

"The kid here was right all along. I shoulda picked you to team up with. But I didn't because..."

"Because you thought _I_ was the demon," Buffy finished his sentence.

"Who can blame me for thinking? Look at you! You're strong, athletic, limber..." He went off into his own world. "Nubile..." He shook his head. "I'm back! In any case, now that this demon's got the heart and brain, he gets to keep the human form he's in for another seven years."

The tea kettle whistled. Giles got up to tend to it. "I must say, it's a welcome change to have someone else explain all these things."

Ms. Calendar rolled her eyes. "British people and their tea."

Giles turned to face her. "Pardon me?"

"Nothing."

Sid went on, " There were seven of these guys. I've killed six. If I can get the last one, the curse will be lifted and I'll be free. I'm sure it's someone in that stupid talent show."

"Yeah, but now that demon has what he wants. He'll be moving on," Buffy replied.

"So, once we know who's missing from the show..."

"We'll know who our demon is!"

"The show!" Giles and Ms. Calendar cried out in unison.

"What?" Buffy asked.

"It's gonna start!" Ms. Calendar exclaimed.

"We're supposed to be there!" Giles added. He couldn't help but notice how many times 'we' consisted of himself and Ms. Calendar.

While conversation carried on, Ms. Calendar lost herself in her thoughts. I know I've wanted him...but I can't have him. Not really. Not in reality, anyway. I'm in love with him, I know I'm in love with him. When we kissed...when we kissed, exhileration pulsed through my veins. When I'm frightened, he's there - he's always there to calm my fears. Each time we touch, accidentally or not, I feel happier. My walk has gained confidence since I met him - before, I was just boring old Ms. Calendar - mysterious teacher with a secret past. This love is forbidden, I know, but as long as it remains one-sided, it doesn't have to be so. A Gypsy woman can dream for a normal life once in a while, can't she? I know I'll never get it anyway. I can never be normal. Everything will be okay...as long as he doesn't love me.

Meanwhile, Buffy spoke to Willow, "Okay, um, start pulling everyone's addresses in the talent show. I-if they're not there, maybe we can catch them at home."

Sid talked to Giles, "And you, you and your lady friend, get 'em all on stage, form the power circle. Then we can see who's a no-show."

"Um, uh, the what?"

"The power circle. You get everyone together, you get 'em, you know, revved up."

Giles was still confused. "Uh...Jenny?" He noticed how she was lost in space. "Jenny." He placed a hand on her shoulder.

Ms. Calendar jumped. "What?...Oh, yes. Going now." She and Giles left the library.

"How'd _they_ ever get that gig?" Sid wondered aloud.

In the hallway, Giles asked, "Are you alright?"

No, Ms. Calendar thought. "I'm fine."

There were a few moments of silence as the two continued to the auditorium.

"Are you sure?"

"Who are you, my father? I said I'm fine." She brushed past him, quickening her pace to get ahead.

"I'll take that as a no," Giles stated to himself, quietly.

Later, Giles popped backstage. "Fifteen minutes to curtain, everyone! Uh, fifteen minutes!" As he turned to go back out, Cordelia chased him down.

"I, I can't go out there. All those people staring at me and judging me like I'm some kind of... Buffy! What if I mess up?"

Giles wanted to get out of there, away from Cordelia, and at least attempt to talk to Ms. Calendar again. "Cordelia, there, uh, there-there's, uh, uh, an adage, uh, that, uh, if you're feeling nervous then, uh, you should imagine the entire audience are in their underwear."

"Eww! Even Mrs. Franklin? Uhhh!"

Giles paused. "Perhaps not."

"Yeah."

Ms. Calendar strode in. "Alright people, circle up!" She clapped for emphasis. "Get your focus on, prepare yourself for your performance. Ondele!"

"Um, alright, um, we'll assemble on the stage in five minutes for the, um, uh, power thing," Giles added.

"No, Rupert, we're doing it _now_," Ms. Calendar corrected.

"Alright, but onstage."

"Fine. To the stage, people! To the stage!"

Buffy and Sid were leaning over the catwalk, waiting to see who was missing from the circle.

"So, what's your deal, kid?" Sid asked. "I don't figure you for a demon hunter."

"I'm a Vampire Slayer."

Sid was surprised. "You? You're the Slayer?"

Buffy nodded.

"Damn! I knew a Slayer in the 30's. Korean chick. Very hot. We're talking _muscle_ tone. Man, we had some times."

Buffy gave him a look.

"Hey, that was pre-dummy, alright? Now, I was a guy!"

"So, you kill the demon and the curse is lifted, right?" Buffy asked, wanting to steer the conversation elsewhere.

"That's the drill."

"You don't actually turn into a prince, do you? I-I mean, your body..."

"Is dust and bones. When I say free..."

"You mean dead."

"Don't get sniffly on me, sis. I've lived a lot longer than most demon hunters. Or Slayers, for that matter."

Buffy looked down, depressed about her lot in life.

Sid put a hand on her knee. "Of course, if you want to snuggle up and comfort me..."

Buffy pushed his hand off her knee. "So, that horny dummy thing really _isn't_ an act, is it?"

"Nope!"

"Yuck!"

They look down onto the stage.

"Alright! Everyone here?" Ms. Calendar asked.

The talent gathered on the stage.

"Okay, here comes our line-up," Sid stated.

"Quickly, everyone! Uh... um, power circle." Giles urged.

The students arranged themselves in a circle and held hands. Sid and Buffy scanned the group for any missing members. Giles and Ms. Calendar looked around as well.

After scanning the circle, Giles looked to Ms. Calendar for confirmation. She nodded.

"Well, that's that, then. Um, everybody, uh, get ready!" Giles told the students.

Some of the students didn't get it, but the circle broke up quickly as they scrambled to get ready. Giles scratched his head, confused. Ms. Calendar stared off into space a bit, also at a loss. Buffy bent down and slipped underneath the catwalk railing.

"Hold on," she told Sid. She dropped to the stage below.

Sid watched her fall.

She landed squarely on her feet and went over to Giles and Ms. Calendar.

"No one's missing," Giles reported.

"So the demon isn't in the show," Buffy stated.

"It seems not," Ms. Calendar agreed. "Tell the others. Look, it's nearly curtain. We need to get the show rolling."

"Right," Buffy replied.

"...Right!" Giles added.

Buffy looked for Sid up on the catwalk, but he was gone. "Sid?"

Later, Principal Snyder was nosing around backstage. Giles saw him, and Snyder faced him. Giles wasn't sure why he was there. Snyder put his fist into his palm and walked away. Giles followed him. Meanwhile, Buffy was still looking for Sid. "Sid?" She stopped next to a workbench.

Something dripped onto her arm from above. She shook it off and looked up. She reached up to a shelf to see what was dripping, and Morgan's brain fell down and into her hands. She let out  
a startled yelp and dropped the brain. It jiggled when it hit the floor. It had been moved.

Willow was on the computer in the library.

Buffy walked up to her, staring at her hands. "I'm never gonna stop washing my hands."

"So, the dummy tells us that he's a demon hunter. And we're, like, fine, la la la la. He takes off, and now there's a brain. Does anybody else feel like they've been Keyser Soze'd?" Xander asked.

"Sid's on the level, I'm sure of it," Buffy replied. "But why would the demon have rejected the brain? I-I mean, I thought Morgan was the smartest kid in school."

"He was, look at his grades: all A's. He was even taking college classes," Willow infromed. She noticed something onscreen. "Wait a second."

"What?" Buffy asked.

"All these sick days."

Xander peered at the screen. "He was off for, like, half the year!"

Buffy leaned in, as well. "Check the school nurse's file."

Willow typed for a moment. "Look at this! 'In case of emergency, contact Dr. Dale Leggett, California Institute of Neurosurgery, Cancer Ward.'"

"Brain cancer?" Xander asked.

"That's why he had all the headaches," Willow connected.

"This means that whatever's out there still needs a healthy, intelligent brain," Buffy stated.

"In other words, I'm safe!" Xander smiled.

"And it's gonna be looking for the smartest person around." She and Xander looked at Willow.

Willow looked back and forth between them. "What?"

Backstage, Giles was helping Marc set up, and had a pair of weights in his hands. "Yes, if you, you calibrated the units of weight then you could calculate the, uh, specific maximum velocity achieved before the point of impact."

"Gee, Mr. Giles, you're really... smart! Could you do me a favor?"

In the library, Willow asked, "What could a demon possibly want from me?"

"What's the square root of 841?" Xander asked.

"29," Willow answered automatically. "Oh, yeah."

"Don't worry, Willow. As long as you're with us there's absolutely no way that demon is gonna get what he wants," Buffy promised.

Backstage, Marc tested his guillotine on a honeydew melon.

Giles picked up the chopped off half. "Oh, my!"

"Pretty cool, huh?"

"Are you sure there's no one else who could help you out?" He wasn't even sure what Jenny was doing.

"My assistant got sick. You won't have to say anything. I'll, I'll show you. Lie down."

Giles inspected the gullotine. "Uh, uh, how, how exactly does it work?"

Marc pulled the blade back up by its rope and tied it down. "A good magician never tells his secrets." He saw his hand and arm begin to revert to demon form, and shook his sleeve to get it to cover up better. "C'mon. We haven't got much time."

In the library, Buffy paced nervously. "This is ridiculous. We can't just sit here and wait for them to come to us. We have to figure out who we're dealing with."

"I still vote dummy," Xander stated.

"No. Okay, so we ruled out all the people in the talent show..."

"That's because they were all there," Willow explained. "But that's before we found the brain. Or before it was moved."

"Right," Buffy agreed. "So it probably _is_ one of them. And, and Giles and Ms. Calendar don't know! They're with them all right now!"

"Uch! They can handle theirselves. I mean, they _are _really..." It clicked in his mind. "Smart!"

Buffy slammed the door to the library open, running out and down the hall. "GILES! MS. CALENDAR!"

Xander and Willow were hot on her tail.

Backstage, Giles was strapped down to the guillotine bench. "Sh-sh-shouldn't it be aimed at my neck?"

"No. No, this way your scalp gets sliced off and your brains just... come pouring out." Marc slid the head restraint down onto Giles' forehead. He reached over and locked it down with a padlock.

"What exactly is the trick?" Giles asked nervously.

"Trick?" Marc pulled the chest restraint tighter.

"Marc?"

Marc went over to the block where the rope holding the guillotine blade was tied down. He grabbed his hatchet and took a swing at the rope. Giles was terrified. Marc took another swing. The rope was half cut by that point.

"M-Marc?" Giles knew then that he had been duped.

A third swing, and the rope was almost cut through. The blade slipped a bit. Giles looked up at it in terror. Another swing, and the rope hung by a thread. Marc raised the hatchet for the final cut. Ms. Calendar lunged at him and tackled him to the floor. Buffy was next to them in an instant. She leg sweept Marc, kicking his legs out from under him as he tried to get up. Ms. Calendar stood up, trying to get out of the way and reeling from the adreneline rush. Buffy adopted a fighting stance. As Marc tried to get up again, she threw an inverted crescent kick to his face, and he went down again. Marc growled as he started to get up, once more, and Buffy saw that the skin on his face was beginning to turn back into its demon state.

"Ewww!" Buffy commented.

Marc took advantage of her distraction and jumped up, punching her, then followed up with a backhand fist to her face. She spun around and fell to the floor. The rope stretched and snaps, and the blade began to fall. Giles yelled out and clamped his eyes shut.

"Rupert!" Ms. Calendar cried. At the last instant, she grabbed the rope from midair, stopping the blade.

Giles heard it stop and opened his eyes. He saw it go back up as Ms. Calendar pulled on the rope.

Buffy got up, but was punched by the demon and fell again.

Willow went to Giles and began to undo the restraints.

Xander joined Ms. Calendar in holding the rope.

"Where are the keys?" Willow asked Giles.

"Marc's got it!"

"Willow!" He had seen the hatchet on the floor.

Ms. Calendar nudged it over to her with her foot.

Willow picked it up and began to hack at the lock.

"Hurry!" Giles urged.

Buffy got up again and ran over to Marc. She grabbed him and fell backward, pulling him down with her and flipping him over onto his back. She flipped up to her feet and turned to face him in a front stance. When he got up she punched him in the face and kicked him in the stomach with a hopping front snap kick. He staggered backward and stumbled into his disappearing-act box, and the door closed on him. Willow kept hacking at the lock on the guillotine.

"How do you lock this thing?"

Even if Buffy got an answer, it wouldn't have made any difference because Marc just punched through the box and reached for her. She quickly backed away as he kicked and shoved his way out of the box. He had completely reverted to his demon form by then. He came at her, grabbed her by the neck, and lifted her from the floor.

"What's happening?" Giles yelled.

Willow kept hacking. The demon slammed Buffy up against a wall with his hand around her throat. He pulled her away and slammed her into the wall again. Xander and Ms. Calendar can only watch as they hold on to the rope. Willow got the lock to break and quickly pulled it off. She and Giles pushed the head restraint up, and he got out as fast as he can. He reached down to undo the restraint at his feet.

Sid finally showed up, jumped onto the demon's back and began stabbing with his knife. "I found you!"

The demon ignored Sid and continued slamming Buffy into the wall. Giles got himself loose. Sid had forced the demon to let go of Buffy and jumped off. She hit the demon in the face with an open hand punch followed by a backhand punch. Giles got off of the bench as Buffy did a full spinning side kick to the demon's gut, making him stagger back onto the bench and land with his neck in the guillotine.

"Let go!" Buffy told Ms. Calendar and Xander.

They let go. The blade fell, chopping off the demon's head. Its body slumped lifeless on the bench. Willow cringed at the sight. They all stared at what's left of the demon.

"Uh... I must say, all of you... Your t-timing is impeccable," Giles told the group.

Ms. Calendar flew to his side and hugged him.

"O-o-oh-okay." Giles hugged Ms. Calendar back.

"And now for the big finish," Sid stated. He had positioned himself over the demon's chest with his knife.  
"What are you doing?" Buffy asked.

"It's not enough. He'll come back. You have to get the heart. Then all of this'll be over."

Buffy held out her hand for the knife. "Let me."

"I got it. Thanks." Sid wielded back with the knife and plunged it into the demon's heart. He pulled back to do it again, but his aim was true the first time, and he just slumped over onto the demon with the knife still in his hands, now a lifeless puppet.

Buffy looked at Sid sadly and let out a deep breath.

Giles moved a hand to take off his glasses.

Buffy gently lifted Sid from the demon and held him in her arms. She started to walk off stage. "It's over." She told Sid. She stopped as the curtain was drawn and looked out at the audience. Giles  
put his glasses back on and stared out as well. Willow was still holding the hatchet as she stood there looking out at the audience with a nervous look on her face. Buffy and Xander, and Ms. Calendar looked out, too.

Principal Snyder doesn't understand what he was seeing. "I don't get it. What is it? Avant-garde?"

Of course, the team had to do a speedy cover up, and the three teenagers still had to do their act.

Later, Buffy, Xander, and Willow had gathered onstage to perform. Giles and Ms. Calendar had squeezed into the audience.

Willow was stiff with fear as she recited her lines, "Oh, ruler of my country, Oedipus, you see our company around the Altar, and I, the priest of Zeus!"

Xander was nervous. "Ha, ha! They prophesize that I should kill my father. But he is dead." He knelt down, gesturing as if he's grabbing a handful of dirt. "And hidden deep in the soil. But surely I must fear my mother's bed."

Buffy was simply bored. She walked around Willow to Xander. "Oh, Oedipus, Oedipus, unhappy Oedipus." She briefly put her hand on his head. "That is all I can call you." She went back to her place. "And all that I ever shall call you." She faced away from the audience.

Xander rose to his feet. "Darkness! And horror of darkness. Unfolding, restless, visitant, sped by an ill wind in haste."

Willow was frozen in fright.

Buffy had turned back around and rolled her eyes at Xander's fumbling of his lines.

Xander went on, "Madness, and... Madness a-and stabbing pain, and, a-and, uh... oh... oh... memory of, uh, i-ill deeds I have done."

Buffy nudged Willow to cue her. She was too terrified to say her next line and ran from the stage. Xander and Buffy stepped together to fill the gap left between them. 


End file.
